friday -- 3/16/12 -- 11:36 am

so... let's look back at my last post shall we?.. way back on the 3rd of january...

"but ya.. i hoope this douesnt turn into whatever happened last timewhere i just kinda stopped doing it"

ya... so that worked out

so let's recap my goals for this year....

• write on my blog every day for a year...... i've done it twice... out of... 76 days, give or take. hell of a track record

• make a youtube video everyday for a year..... ya.. i've made 2, adn they wont upload..

so ya... i've been mr. success this year, like every year.

on the plus side for today i found a nice little place to b alone... i think i'll call it my lair... make it sound alot cooler thna it really is.

it's just a place under the stairs in the hs building at my college

that part's really just for me, but whatever...

but i like my lair... it's quiet, except for the keys frantically giving into my will as i type letters incorrectly and then go back to make the words coherent again. there's also the occasional student rushing off to class, but i dont mind it.

tho tbh, if a couple comes down the stairs and gives me an awkward "we were not gonna do dirty things under these exact stairs" look i wont b surprised.... kids r lame

anyway... i like it here... i cna think about anyting, or nothing, whatever i like, it's my lair, my Bat cave, my Fortrace of Solitude... it's my little chunk of campus

i have a spider here, if he is here alot i'll maybe name him or something, who knows.

but ya... oh, another cool thing b4 i forget... i totally saw a guy that looked like the 9th doctor... he had the same face and the same not quite balding hair, and he had this stranger thing in the car next to him... it was a coiled copper pipe on a long pole, well not really "long" just like a 5-6 foot pole, like a broom handle, but still... even tho im 98% sure it had a real world purpose, proba bly something simple like needing to reach a high thing or maybe some elecricity thing, but still,, the whovian in me wants to believe that was the 9th doctor,, so i will.

but ya... well i have to go, my class starts soon and well.. ya, i kinda need to go

so i'll leave u with a quote from simon and garfunkel's "sound of silence"

"hello darkness my old friend. i've come to talk with you again of a vision softly creeping. who left it's seeds while i was sleeping. and the vision's still planted in my brain, it still remains, within the sound or silence"

teusday -- 1/3/12 -- 3:58 am

this will b short for 2 reason.. 1) itr's fucking 4qm.. im tired as shit and 2) im wathing a science program on tv

ya know, i'd forgotten how excited i could get over science
how childlike my fasination is...

i think i rediscovered my love of science, my love of.. .well my love of knowing
like how gravity is no longer the pull on everything .. it's a sheet of space-time that everythign rests on.

anyway.. b4 i get carried away.... my day was kinda blah

i tried signing up for classes but my payment from last semester still isnt in.... it's alwasy something preventing me to get classes early.. it seems fae is a cruel misstress, even to her most willing of suiters :/

but ya.. im gonna try to make this a new years resolution

"but shallow grave"
"yes random voice?"
"it's the 3rd.... u've missed 2 days, what are u gonna do about that?"
well, voice.. those days can piss off.. i declarfe this is my first day.. if i remembre i'll add on a couple days at the end"

but ya.. i hoope this douesnt turn into whatever happened last timewhere i just kinda stopped doing it

anyway,,, i'm gonna post one thign a day, it could b a link, ora quote, or anyhting

sorry for the lasck of spelling.. it's currently 4:38am, im a little tired
but ya.... sleep well, faithful reader, dream better


shallow bonus:
http://simplegfx.net/cache/OurUniverse_71C4/lagoon_hst.jpg

so... things i noticed that suck about not doing this for a year...
1)if i actually remembered what haoppened this last year i'd have to post a big long dealio to tell u how i've been.

2)also.. i've forgotten the names i was useing to not have ppl's names used
but side note, i forgot some while i was typing it daily... so whatever...


but ya.. so in this post...lets have jim and elizabeth b the names

jim and beth r married, they have a 2 year old kid
normally i dislike them both.
they constantly point out what failures i have currently in my life, things i should have done by now, things i should have by now

but today, jim got kudos points... beth was all "whats ur class schedual for next semster? tomorrow im taking u to macdonalds for a job. do u want a job?"

i'm fed up with her by this point so i said "ya i want a job, it'll make ppl shut up about it" she kept pushing and jim was like "hey, leave him alone, beth. just leave him alone"

this really surprised me... so new standing,, still hate beth, jim is on the upward journey, but he's definately in the green now., so jim, cause i know u wont see this... thanks for sticking up for me, there... it was a noble thing u've done and i have a newfound respect for u, sir... thanks again

now that that's over with... u may b asking "y were they there in the first place?"

well, there's this bothersome american holiday called christmas, ppl pretend to b happy, and the stores say there's this fatty named santa, he sneaks in ur house late at night when ur sleeping and leaves u shit or doesnt based on an unseen moral handbook he must have.

anyway. i'll satop b4 that becomes a rant..

but ya.. we had a christmas party today with the whole family,,, the whole drama filled, disfunctional family :/

ya, so fuck his whole stupid family, there was tention the whole time
doc was here. always hidden drama with my mom, with everyone...
and my grandma was here, always something with her...
fuck them all.. they wonder y i try to just live in my room away from them all.
dont bug them, dnt cause drama
the most i do is "hey, shallow mind, we'regoing to doc's to see his new baby, wanna come?"
"nokt really, i'll never see it anyway, and im sure it loosk lie ka baby, just liek everyother baby ever. also dad'll take so many stupid pictures u cna make a damn movie... i'll wait for that"

so i admit it partly my fault i never see them, butr it's mostly theirs
their first kid is almost 3, i've seen him only a handful of times, and honestly, idc, more than that... i couldnt care less

but ya,, imn surprised by the whole deal,, no actual drama, well.. beth's kid, who's here everyweek.. probably should give a name... willie, or soem varient,,, ok.. so willie
is here everyweek, he was a bit "bitch them is my toys, nigga!" as much as a non black 2 year old can

so basicly he was cranky and just stuck with hsi mom and dad most of the time
til he got on the rocking horse that i am told was used by all us kids when we were little,, idk

bu ya,, this is becoming alot longer than i think i want, and it looks like this is gonan turn into "my day plus self reflection things, so b warned about that, i'll try not to have the self-reflection, but we'll see what happens

link of the day is actually the song i've been repeating the whole time i've been writing this...

"if i ever leave this world alive" by Flogging Mollly

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xql8CKE_9oI

oh... and for my friend, this is just for u, cause i know u'll like it just as much as i do fir the same reason...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TamOrADrhwc
only linkedthat for the video, and cause it;s the same song as the other one
lol
side note... there's morespelling mistakes cause i got a laptop the other day, not used the keyboard yet :P

quote wil b from the song..
"where ever i am you'll always be more than just a memory, if i ever leave this world alive"

thursday -- 12/15/11 -- 10:17 am

fuck.. i justwent back adn looked at the lastpost on here.... over a year

it's sad how easily i drop thinkgs if i falter, evenalittle from my setcourse of action.

oh no i missed a day in a dailyblog? it's inconsistant, therefoer making my skipped day ruin the entirity of the project, making me nothave to keep up anymore

or it's "oh it's just 1 day, i can come back from that, oh 2 days isnt that big of a deal, i can come back, no problem... 3 days?.. na, im good, i can still pull thru.. .fuck it;s been a month, there's no coming back from this, i guess i failed,, again"

but over a year later, here i am,,, idk

i just dont know what to do

should i start it again and have ittake over my time again?
shouldi do this whole 365 thing onyoutube like i've been wantting to do?
should i do a "thing a week" thing like i did a couple years back?
but that failed to... i had to change it to "oh, i'll just makesure that it equals the same number. that i got.. barely

i always think that by doing something where alot of ppl can see me it means they will see me, and that i'll become famous, u know, make something of myself, but deep down i know it'll never happen

well.. that's enough about me... let's talk about me instead..
moreover, the me in my life recently so i can maybe start this up again, maybe try the youtube thing.. who knows

btu ya... so i alsmost didnt fail at school this semester... i made it til the end
but i've seemed to have lost sight of the things i truely love, in my life... like my friends, i dont talk to my maybe kinda gf that much.. idk if wejust kinda fizzled or if were still whatever... tho if we fizzed away, there'smuch worse ways to go about become single again.
i've also lost heart in the theatre, my greatest love...
i've lost sight of building things, the smell of sawdust and paint, the sould as the table saw slices a sheet of plywood in twain, the feel of a screwgun plowing the screw home, completeing somethign that's worth while, and meaningful...

anyway.. it's exam week... i at least held off failign til the end, witch in some ways is better, i finished the semester, but on the flip side, i put forth all that effort onlyto have to crumble atthe end

it's like im running a race, and i twist my ancle adn fall 5 feet from the finish, and i slied with my out streched arm mere inches from victory... but i finished the race.. i guess that's somethimg

maybe typing this agin like i used to will help put me back where i belong, help me find my motivation, my muse

tho, one good thing that cameout of this year.. i've started writing again.. adn it's not to bad.. not bad at all, even

but ya... i'll leave u wit ha line from a poem that'll probably never b truely finished, or apreciated for whatit is...


please, oh dearest darkness, please hold back my foes
Til I have need of them again

thursday -- 10/21/10 -- 1:36am

ya... so this whole "post every day" thing.... really workign out for me
lol

but ya,,, today was a blah day...
the only day i actually needed to go to school and i'd have time to sleep in, i wake up earlier than normal and the guy who's sposed to give me a ride never shows. and it's true i wanted to do a few things like light the sparkler dust i had from over the summer, but everything i wanted to do was done b4 my ussual ride would have been here

but... alas i cant complain too much i guess

anyway... just so u guys know... there is a very low chance to posting somethign tomarrow night, cause i wont get home til about 6:30am... it's gonna suck alot, but it'll b a metric fuck-ton of fun

anyway.. im tired as fuck.. so im going to bed

i really dont have a link for u guys... so just go find somethign funny and assume i linked that
lol

sunday -- 10/18/10 -- 12:42am

hey there.. ya.. i'm actually back

im not gonna bullshit u with talk of time travle... i just havent been posting \anything cause.. well i missed a few weeks, and then didnt get online for a nother few weeks, then was all "i'll continue later" then just kinda gave up on it cause the only reason i started it was for my friends to keep up with what i was doing, andthe only one who read it was someone i talk to everyday.. so the whole thing seemed pointless to me

but ya.. im gonna try to start again.. let's see how it goes

anyway... let's see.. since i've been gone... shit alot has happened... i got a gf, i'm pretending to go to college, i met my friend woman, i think i basicly helped hook up my 2 friends without trying, i was working out during the summer, bob moved out to live with his friend, then when he wsa kickedout of that house he basicly moved back and did less than he did b4, now he's in one of those "f u go here for 13 months then u totally have a degree" kinds of places in tennesee, so idk how that's gonna go

so pretty much just generally enjoying life, and tryingto survive my own insanity

anyway... i may go back to keeping the thought of the day if i can think of one, not all that other shit that i did b4.. it as turning into a job for me to do this blog... it became "i have to do this, and i have to find a quote, and a song, and a link, and this, and that.. it was too much for me, so now i'll post things as i get them but ya.. on to what i've been up to recently/ today...

so anyway... let's try this again from the begining...

sunday -- 10/18/10 -- 12:55am

so my mom is gone to new hampture to babysit my 2 year old nephew and X month old neice while my brother and his wife move to tennesee. and while my mom is gone my dad is completely renovateing her room...

u know... move all her stuff out, pull up the carpet, sand the floor, paint the walls and cieling, and then stain the floor, then finially move her stuff back into the room.

we've been working on it for 4 days... we have another 3 or 4 until my mom gets back

we still need to stain the floor, and put another coat of semi-gloss paint on the walls

but ya... so really thats all thats been going on with me

i do havea link i want to show u guys

it's a lovely bit of americn patriotism

lol

http://www.break.com/index/america-rules-england-sucks.html

anyway.. i'll try to post more as long as interestingshit keep happening... so ya.. sleep well, faithful reader, dream better

tuesday -- 6/15/10 -- 12:11am

so... i got a new webcam last night.. it's pretty nice... i'm really liking it

and now... for karma...

now, me and karma.... we're like siblings... we dont hate eachother, we just dont get alongthat well either, for the most part.

karama is ussually pretty mean to me, i have "the ol' shllow grave luck"... much like the ol' parker luck, just for me
lately, for like 2-3 weeks... i've been having prtty good days
not enough to make me worry too much, ut still... overly good... good moods

well... i think i've found the price to such joy.... everyone around me is having shitty days.

... ... ...

ya.. i'm sorry, but i just wont allow that...

i cant allow that

i wont let u harm the closest thing i have to a family i give a shit about, while i'm having a good day

so please... dont let them suffer... i'll suffer in their 'stead.

thats all i really wanted to say

cya kids...

sleep well, dream better