i feel like a horrorable person today...
i think i'm responcible for hurting my cat, rusty
what happened is he was laying on my bed and it was like at 4am,i woke up cause i'm guessing i accidentally kicked him, nothing to out of the norm, he does that all the time... well when i went to pick him up to put him on the floor his claw got stuck on my blanket, like it seems to do alot, and while i was trying to free him from the blanket he kinda squirmed out of my arm and onto the floor, pulling on his one leg.. and today, he wasnt doing the 3 legged walk thing like alot of animals seem to do, but he was putting his paw down and then it looked like he didnt like it there and he'd move it again to a different place and he seemed to.... idk, almost limp a bit... like he would walk quicker on his one leg so he wouldnt have to b on it so long and i felt rteally crappy cause he was like all scared of me all day today
but i am talking to ann right now and she thinks that he'll b fine, so that makes me feel a little bit better about it :) [thanks kid]
anyway... after that, i went back to sleep, woke up about 9, ate, swept some stuff, then i got to listen to my grandma (i'll call her "gr.h") because she is in one of her "nobody loves me" moods, so i'm probibly gponna have to go visit and play cards tomarrow which is gonna suck... i already wasted one day, i dont want to waste another playing cards
anyway, the oven wasnt that bad to move... between me, dad and the woman's dad we got it on the trailer and home i wentto church, and got online.. end day
and leave it to bob to turn a decent day inot onethat i'm kinda pised off in fucking 15 mins... o well it's fuckin 20 after 1, i really should go to bed
i'll c y'all tomarrow
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Friday, November 13, 2009
friday--11/13/09--11:49
holy hell what a day!!
all i have to say is "damn"
idk how to classify this day.. it wasnt that bad but it wasnt that good i'm totally confuzzled about it, it's perplexing to say the least
well ur probibly like "well damnit, man... get on w/ it.. wtf happened??"
fine, i'll apease u and i'll let u know
not even 2 hours into my day i pulled my arm mussle, i think. well it feels stiff and it hurts to bend it so i am pretty sure i did somethign to it.. ur probibly wondering how it happened, well my inquizitive friend, i damn near fell down a flight of stairs in the theater today... idkwtf i tripped over, weather it b the small hole in the top step in the corner, or my own damn toe, or hell, maybe i just tripped on a large chunk of air, idk.. but luckily that banister held up.. all i got was my toes r hurt a bit, i have a... i dont wanna say cut, but it's not just a scratch, idk, a line of blood, on my arm and of course, the sore arm.. after that i went to class, nothing special, just finished leagally blonde the musical, whitch isnt accualy that bad, it's worth watching.
anyway, i was sposed to come home to talk to a friend online, i told her i'd b on way before she got home, cause i ended school at 12 on fridays, anyway.. i was going to go home but i was talked into going to a bar near ecc for lunch with like 10 kids from the r and r club, it was a nice meal, we tyalked a bit and one kid, who we call scary pat, was going to a place called geek out after wards and i was like, hell, i'm already socializing, and it's on the way home, y not i'll go with him and hang out for a bit... but i was stupid and assumed that bob would go home right away so i could b home to talk to me friend at 5:30 when she usually gets on, it was 430 when bob got to geek out and it takes about an hour to get home cause they r painting the bridge or whatever, some bullshit that means over 30 mins of waiting to move and by the time we left geek out, brought bob's friend home and went home ourselves, it was like 9 or so
it sucked cause i missed my friend online, but i did get to see my one friend that i havent seen for a while.. a fellow poet, like me, tho i think she is probiblt better than me, but thats just an opinion
and now it's 12:18, and i'm finishing up this thing
sorry for this one being so long... i'm sure most will b like "wow, not that much happened today" but hell, u never know whats gonna happen in the life of me
i'll cya all tomarrow :)
(bear with me, i cant find the center button)
thought of the day
"i guess god
just wanted to give me
something to write about"
all i have to say is "damn"
idk how to classify this day.. it wasnt that bad but it wasnt that good i'm totally confuzzled about it, it's perplexing to say the least
well ur probibly like "well damnit, man... get on w/ it.. wtf happened??"
fine, i'll apease u and i'll let u know
not even 2 hours into my day i pulled my arm mussle, i think. well it feels stiff and it hurts to bend it so i am pretty sure i did somethign to it.. ur probibly wondering how it happened, well my inquizitive friend, i damn near fell down a flight of stairs in the theater today... idkwtf i tripped over, weather it b the small hole in the top step in the corner, or my own damn toe, or hell, maybe i just tripped on a large chunk of air, idk.. but luckily that banister held up.. all i got was my toes r hurt a bit, i have a... i dont wanna say cut, but it's not just a scratch, idk, a line of blood, on my arm and of course, the sore arm.. after that i went to class, nothing special, just finished leagally blonde the musical, whitch isnt accualy that bad, it's worth watching.
anyway, i was sposed to come home to talk to a friend online, i told her i'd b on way before she got home, cause i ended school at 12 on fridays, anyway.. i was going to go home but i was talked into going to a bar near ecc for lunch with like 10 kids from the r and r club, it was a nice meal, we tyalked a bit and one kid, who we call scary pat, was going to a place called geek out after wards and i was like, hell, i'm already socializing, and it's on the way home, y not i'll go with him and hang out for a bit... but i was stupid and assumed that bob would go home right away so i could b home to talk to me friend at 5:30 when she usually gets on, it was 430 when bob got to geek out and it takes about an hour to get home cause they r painting the bridge or whatever, some bullshit that means over 30 mins of waiting to move and by the time we left geek out, brought bob's friend home and went home ourselves, it was like 9 or so
it sucked cause i missed my friend online, but i did get to see my one friend that i havent seen for a while.. a fellow poet, like me, tho i think she is probiblt better than me, but thats just an opinion
and now it's 12:18, and i'm finishing up this thing
sorry for this one being so long... i'm sure most will b like "wow, not that much happened today" but hell, u never know whats gonna happen in the life of me
i'll cya all tomarrow :)
(bear with me, i cant find the center button)
thought of the day
"i guess god
just wanted to give me
something to write about"
Thursday, November 12, 2009
my life til now
well here is my bio... it's kinda in depth, but kinda not...
i think this will take me a few days to do so i may just wrap up a part im working on and continue again tomarrow
well it all started about 20 years ago... i was born.
i dont remember most of my child hood, or lack there of.. what i do remember, for the most part, i try not to.. there r somethings that i dont mind thinking of, but saddly it seems that's what left the caverns of my mind first
well i guess i should start in grade school.. ah grade school
first of all, i was a smart kid, im not just being egotistical either.. i was a really smart kid
i am told that i learned how to read in a week when i was 4 years old, i was smarter than my 2 brothers who r a doctor and a scientist when they were my age when i was in 1st grade
anyway... it wasnt easy for me... i had a cursed name there, al becuase of a stupid misunderstanding like 20-25 years ago, between my parents and a drunk guy who happens to b related to basicly everyone in town, so i was damned that way, but also from some bad habits that i had, one in which i would pick my nose (disgusting i know, give me a break i was a kid)
well what i would do is i would like to point at the older kids n the bus when i was in kindergarden, i'd see it as "cool, i can point at the big kids and they r scared of me" they saw it as "this disgusting little kid is trying to put his damn snot on us". they called me a faggot one day. ya, a couple of 7th graders called a 5-6 year old kid a faggot. it took me 4 years before i knew what a faggot was, and even longer before i knew the meaning they intended.
gradeschool took it's toll on me, not phisicly, tho i did build up my imunity to cold while in 7th and 8th grade, but the mental scars r the ones noone sees... went 8 long years, kindergarden to 7th grade, as a shy kid, hardly there, i was basicly not there. i had so much anger as i kid it wasnt even funny, it all came to a head my 8th grade year where i was a really agressive person, i had one kid so scared of me that if i was in the bathroom he'd leave, i pushed a kid into a bathroom stall door and put a small hole or a dent in the wall (i dont remember which one), i also got into several fights... ok, the one wasnt really a fight, par say but i did brawl with like 4 or 5 sixth graders and i did fight with a dumb kid , lets call him eathan, well eathan and i got along about as well as water and patasium (for those of u who aren't science nerds thats a particularly explosive combo) anyway, ethan was overweight, noticablly overweight, and he had won a ham at the anual church festival, and so of course, me being the kind of person i was then i gave him shit about it, fight ensued, i dont feel like going into the details, this is already turning into a fucking long post, im not gonna make it worse.. maybe some other day... anyway he hit me in the head with a ham and it hurt like a bitch, ney, probibly like 3 or 4 bitches, it hurt alot, gave me a nasty bump on my head and terrible headache, i also started to rebel against ppl, like teachers, and parents, and well, really everything, i wsa angry all the time, and really hateful, me and bob had some fun times then, ya, who'd have thunk it, me and bob haveing fun times and not trying to kill each other, but it was real, we broke so much stuff, set things on fire, it was a mess of a time, but it was MY time.
in high school i mellowed out a lot, like all my rage and anger was gone. but i still kept my shy nature, and my distrust of ppl, i am cursed to always believe that ppl r working some kind of angle, somehow making fun of me, if i dont know them and know that they are not making fun of me, then thats me first assumption, i always expect the worst, then hope for the best, never the other way around.
but in high school i did find love, not a woman, pfft, not likely, but i found something even better, imn my opinion, i found my love of theatre... before u start critisizing, theatre doesnt cause any drama, ppl do, theatre is just there, it will love u as mush as u love it and it will treat u with respect, ppl seldom do any of that most pl will take what the y want and spit out the rest.. i also found chess club.. i figured i knew how to play chess, i cant play well, but i know how, so that was that.. and in 10th grade in english class i hit some kind of a record, i must have, if nothing else it was a record for me... lowest grade ever.. 42%.. yep.. apparently homework counts for about 68% in smith's english class (lol) but anyway, that the grade that landed me in the rival public school, where i met my friend jon, who is now a marine in japan, who i hold basicly completely responcible for my last summer but thats a story for another time, like i said earlier, this thig is already damn long, i dont want to have u spend a damn day reading this thing.
anyway. high school comes and goes and now i'm in college... thats the big things in my life that i can remember... now on to the daily thing...
[thursday--11/12/09--11:52]
i'm almost afraind to say this... it was a pretty good day today... nothing's happening?... ok, good... i had a decent day today... i didnt get to go to DPS like i wanted to (DPS= Dead Poet's Society after the movie) but thats fine, it's not like i told ppl i was coming and (sad to say, it probibly wont live much longer, due to ppl thinking that poetry is gay, or stupid, or maybe just hard, not man ppl r in it this year, only like 5 ppl.. but anyway, i didnt get my part of my music project done, tho i did try, thats a step up.
but ya, my friend was doin good today, which is a nice change, i'll call he "Sue" but saddly ann isnt doing well.. but o well, hopefully she will feel better
well it's late so i'll leave u with a....
i think this will take me a few days to do so i may just wrap up a part im working on and continue again tomarrow
well it all started about 20 years ago... i was born.
i dont remember most of my child hood, or lack there of.. what i do remember, for the most part, i try not to.. there r somethings that i dont mind thinking of, but saddly it seems that's what left the caverns of my mind first
well i guess i should start in grade school.. ah grade school
first of all, i was a smart kid, im not just being egotistical either.. i was a really smart kid
i am told that i learned how to read in a week when i was 4 years old, i was smarter than my 2 brothers who r a doctor and a scientist when they were my age when i was in 1st grade
anyway... it wasnt easy for me... i had a cursed name there, al becuase of a stupid misunderstanding like 20-25 years ago, between my parents and a drunk guy who happens to b related to basicly everyone in town, so i was damned that way, but also from some bad habits that i had, one in which i would pick my nose (disgusting i know, give me a break i was a kid)
well what i would do is i would like to point at the older kids n the bus when i was in kindergarden, i'd see it as "cool, i can point at the big kids and they r scared of me" they saw it as "this disgusting little kid is trying to put his damn snot on us". they called me a faggot one day. ya, a couple of 7th graders called a 5-6 year old kid a faggot. it took me 4 years before i knew what a faggot was, and even longer before i knew the meaning they intended.
gradeschool took it's toll on me, not phisicly, tho i did build up my imunity to cold while in 7th and 8th grade, but the mental scars r the ones noone sees... went 8 long years, kindergarden to 7th grade, as a shy kid, hardly there, i was basicly not there. i had so much anger as i kid it wasnt even funny, it all came to a head my 8th grade year where i was a really agressive person, i had one kid so scared of me that if i was in the bathroom he'd leave, i pushed a kid into a bathroom stall door and put a small hole or a dent in the wall (i dont remember which one), i also got into several fights... ok, the one wasnt really a fight, par say but i did brawl with like 4 or 5 sixth graders and i did fight with a dumb kid , lets call him eathan, well eathan and i got along about as well as water and patasium (for those of u who aren't science nerds thats a particularly explosive combo) anyway, ethan was overweight, noticablly overweight, and he had won a ham at the anual church festival, and so of course, me being the kind of person i was then i gave him shit about it, fight ensued, i dont feel like going into the details, this is already turning into a fucking long post, im not gonna make it worse.. maybe some other day... anyway he hit me in the head with a ham and it hurt like a bitch, ney, probibly like 3 or 4 bitches, it hurt alot, gave me a nasty bump on my head and terrible headache, i also started to rebel against ppl, like teachers, and parents, and well, really everything, i wsa angry all the time, and really hateful, me and bob had some fun times then, ya, who'd have thunk it, me and bob haveing fun times and not trying to kill each other, but it was real, we broke so much stuff, set things on fire, it was a mess of a time, but it was MY time.
in high school i mellowed out a lot, like all my rage and anger was gone. but i still kept my shy nature, and my distrust of ppl, i am cursed to always believe that ppl r working some kind of angle, somehow making fun of me, if i dont know them and know that they are not making fun of me, then thats me first assumption, i always expect the worst, then hope for the best, never the other way around.
but in high school i did find love, not a woman, pfft, not likely, but i found something even better, imn my opinion, i found my love of theatre... before u start critisizing, theatre doesnt cause any drama, ppl do, theatre is just there, it will love u as mush as u love it and it will treat u with respect, ppl seldom do any of that most pl will take what the y want and spit out the rest.. i also found chess club.. i figured i knew how to play chess, i cant play well, but i know how, so that was that.. and in 10th grade in english class i hit some kind of a record, i must have, if nothing else it was a record for me... lowest grade ever.. 42%.. yep.. apparently homework counts for about 68% in smith's english class (lol) but anyway, that the grade that landed me in the rival public school, where i met my friend jon, who is now a marine in japan, who i hold basicly completely responcible for my last summer but thats a story for another time, like i said earlier, this thig is already damn long, i dont want to have u spend a damn day reading this thing.
anyway. high school comes and goes and now i'm in college... thats the big things in my life that i can remember... now on to the daily thing...
[thursday--11/12/09--11:52]
i'm almost afraind to say this... it was a pretty good day today... nothing's happening?... ok, good... i had a decent day today... i didnt get to go to DPS like i wanted to (DPS= Dead Poet's Society after the movie) but thats fine, it's not like i told ppl i was coming and (sad to say, it probibly wont live much longer, due to ppl thinking that poetry is gay, or stupid, or maybe just hard, not man ppl r in it this year, only like 5 ppl.. but anyway, i didnt get my part of my music project done, tho i did try, thats a step up.
but ya, my friend was doin good today, which is a nice change, i'll call he "Sue" but saddly ann isnt doing well.. but o well, hopefully she will feel better
well it's late so i'll leave u with a....
thought of the day...
"always listen to ur gut feelings
they know more than u ever will
i learned that the hard way"
they know more than u ever will
i learned that the hard way"
the brief idea
hey there, kids... i'm just letting u know that i am planning on making a daily blog for anyone who cares... just kinda like a journal of my day to day life
probibly tomarrow i'll post a sorta brief history for myself.. i had one started tonight but my net messed up and i lost it, so i'll redo it tomarrow if i have time
well thatsa all i have tonight...
i may or may not have a thought of the day for these daily things... i havent desided on that yet... i may try, but who knows
well good night... i'll leave u with my thought of the day...
probibly tomarrow i'll post a sorta brief history for myself.. i had one started tonight but my net messed up and i lost it, so i'll redo it tomarrow if i have time
well thatsa all i have tonight...
i may or may not have a thought of the day for these daily things... i havent desided on that yet... i may try, but who knows
well good night... i'll leave u with my thought of the day...
thought of the day
"i pray that i can b the one
to b there when u want to give up
when all around u
is falling to the ground
i'll b the one beside u
to protect u form the debris"
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